What is "losing it?" It's that moment where you yell, you scream, you threaten and demean. You scold, you're bold, you'reangry and...ALL MOTHERS "LOSE IT" AND IT'S A FACT OF LIFE
When we lose it...we feel: terrible, guilty, remorseful, mean, depressed...and the list goes on.
This page is about what happens when we lose it and what you can do to start to help this situation get better.
WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?
Mothers lose their tempers with their children at moments when they feel TRAPPED. We feel, in those moments, like there is NOTHING we can do and no place to go. It's as though WE ARE CORNERED.
When we feel trapped or cornered we start to struggle - to flail our arms and scream and try to GET OUT of that feeling. It makes us crazy.
When we "lose it" all of our usual common sense, our patience, our ability to come up with creative strategies and positive ideas DISAPPEARS. This is what happens when people feel cornered and trapped. It's like there's NO WAY OUT of the situation. We start flailing. Filled to the brim with tension, WE BLOW.
Our minds, when we LOSE IT are like steam kettles with no escape valve. When there's no escape valve, the kettle EXPLODES.
It happens to everyone. With few exceptions.
How can we avoid feeling TRAPPED AND CORNERED so we don't have to BLOW?
The journey begins with the AHA moment that we have to strategize escape valves. We have to create some room, somewhere, so we don't have to feel cornered in the moments when we know we tend to blow.
Here are some of the things women are saying:
I have figured out one of the things I feel trapped by when I lose it in the morning. It's TIME. There is no time! The bus is comingI I ALWAYS blow up in the morning. I have to find a way to feel less trapped by time constraints."
"I promise myself I won't blow up, but then I feel so angry that I can't have a minute to myself, and then I feel guilty which makes it even worse. Then, the next thing you know, I'm blowing up. It's like I am trapped by these overwhelming emotions piling up on each other. "
"I realized something so weird. When the kids leave in the morning, I feel abandoned by them. Like the abandonment I had as a kid. I think I'm mad at THEM for it. The abandonment is unbearable. "
Resentment, anger, guilt, lack of proper time or nourishment...these are just some of the feelings and experiences that can lead to feeling impossibly CORNERED AND TRAPPED in difficult moments. It is overwhelming.
Creating space, so that you don't feel trapped, is hard to do, but it can be done. We all need a lot of help with this - DISCOVERING and FIGURING OUT and MANAGING the feelings and realities that may be leading us to LOSE IT..
Download our FREE Sheet to help you think about and navigate the waters of "LOSING IT" below. Learn more about yourself and how you can begin to struggle less against these challenging moments that leave you feeling TRAPPED and HELPLESS
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Here is your FREE personal "losting it" worksheet. Congratulations on thinking and starting to process this difficult challenge in the world of parenting. Keep us posted on your feelings and thoughts