How your problems can bring you closer...
I'm a certified psychoanalyst and expert on marital problems
Having worked with couples for decades, I’ve heard my share of yelling and screaming in the office. And I’ve seen withdrawn and shut down partners, too. Emotional dysregulation, tempers, tears, attacks and deep hurt are all part and parcel of what can happen in marriage, typically between the third to seventh year.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned about the “tangled web” we weave, it’s this: the petty problems are usually much deeper than they seem. Financial challenges, differences in child-raising, establishing a workable division of labor, intimacy issues, and even planning a life together, all strike a nerve. And that makes it hard to talk things through.
At first, the problems show up as little things that cause impatience and irritability: the proverbial cap off of the toothpaste. An emotional insult that one person feels deeply and the other cannot see. And then, BOOM! You’re struggling with heavy stuff…
- Unresolved emotions
- Unmet needs
- Unfulfilled expectations
- Unspoken longings
Sometimes you even wonder: Should I stay?
We search for “reality” in the outside standards of normalcy. “This isn’t how it should be!” we cry. And, according to what we think is fair and appropriate, we argue. But that just keeps us stuck in the same problems, played over and over. It doesn’t work.
In this “The One Light of Marriage” course, the deeper feeling that derail a marriage are exposed and tools provided to sort them through towards peace and clarity. Participants are helped to recognize why it’s so confusing and painful, and how to deal with the realities of powerful deep feelings that are more overwhelming than we know how to manage without coaching and support.
Many of our spouse’s reactions to us, and ours to them, are based on unconscious mental processes that cause us to expect and predict the worst. Hopelessness sets in when it comes to these feelings, and bitterness. Resentment prevails, and then, the quicksand of negativity becomes consuming.
In this course, we keep it “real.” This all gets talked about. Sorted through. Organized. Stories are shared, and a new way to navigate the extreme currents of negativity is offered to help you normalize and manage the negativity on a new, more
What's included in the marriage course?
You’ll get worksheets and videos that make it easy for you to sort through the realities of your marriage: the disappointment and hurt, the shame, self-blame and frustration.
You’ll be given strategies and tools for how to think in a new way about the deepest problems in your marriage: the irreconcilable differences, betrayals, lack of trust, negativity and more.
These videos and worksheets transform the most unfair accusations, the worst projections, and the most painful negative impressions, into blueprints for depth and understanding, which lead to peace.
My marital sessions cost $300 an hour, more than the price of this course, which provides you with the essentials for how to work with what you’ve got, get off the dead-end roads, and see yourself and your spouse with greater peace and clarity.