Why NOBODY Can Know You Better than you Know Yourself

I am veteran psychoanalyst — author of a textbook published by Routledge about clinical methodology who enjoys a successful caseload and can boast a few prestigious awards – so I guess you could say you’re in good hands.  But guess what…there is little that I could analyze and interpret to you about yourself, that would do you much good.

In fact, you may already know by now that “insight-oriented psychotherapy” is practically dead – that no matter how much I interpret your feelings and behavior to you, and how well you “know” yourself, it doesn’t create real change.  Knowing you’re “afraid of failure,” for example, isn’t going to make you want to sabotage yourself any less.  Knowing you are “an angry person” is not going to help you feel less triggered and maligned.  Knowing you “felt unloved” isn’t going to help you feel more loved.

Nobody can know you better than you know yourself because, simply put, even if they do, it won’t help you much.  You would be sooner affected by a kiss from a stranger than by anything I could think or say about you, even if we both agree objectively on how you tick.

Real change, it turns out, happens as a result of emotional experiences. Not intellectual ones.

When your emotions are affected – heard, addressed, uncovered, discovered and seen in a new way – that’s when you experience a shift that leads to deep, real transformation.

These shifts, in how you experience the world emotionally, make it possible to relax into deep study into yourself, so you can  change not as the result of a forceful battle of wills against yourself, but because you’re ready, naturally.

Emotional experiences help you in so many ways – to understand what your emotional allergies are, where your blind spots are, what your triggers are and your areas of difficulty — including why self-compassion, self-esteem and stable confidence can disappear.

Next, stay tunes for more about what these “emotional experiences” are that create transformation.